Hmmm

I had so much fun at NAU this weekend with my homeslice(s). And then I came back. ughh. I like ASU, but I guess I'm just disappointed that it's not the change I had hoped it would be. I wake up to construction. And heat. And noise. And my dorm is quiet, solitary-like. And my mom wants me to move home next year, but I don't want to. I feel like I'm hurting her feelings. I feel like I'm so close to my family I'm practically avoiding them when I don't see them, which is weird. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to see them, I love my family and miss not being around them all the time. I just feel like this is something I need to do. I don't know why. And I feel like I'd be failing if I went back home next year.

There are just so many changes. And I can't tell if I'm disappointed in them because my expectations were too high, or if there really is something better out there. Speaking of something better, I've also been way confused about my major. I decided I want to minor in Spanish, but in deciding this I realized how much more excited I am about learning language than I am about being a journalist. Is this because I don't really want to be a journalist? Or is this because the real journalism aspect of my degree hasn't kicked in yet? I'm just so confused. I know journalism can open many doors for me, but I know they aren't easy doors to open. I'm so terrified of getting out of college and getting stuck. Stuck in a desk job at some small publication that I went to as a start for my resume, and then 10 years down the road, where am I? Stuck. At the same place. I know if I stay focused and just never give up I can do the things I feel like I have to do. I know I can.

Sorry, that was a bit scattered.