Odd, but good?

Things feel a little odd at the moment. But not in a bad way, which in itself is odd that something odd is also something good. Or is that normal? I suppose it is, but this particular odd thing that to me feels ok is very odd, especially for me to think it feels ok. Did that make any sense?

Anyways, I'm happy about this. But I'm also kind of scared. But I'm really trying. Every once in a while I start to panic, but I remind myself that it's ok, because I know it really is ok and I know I can't keep putting this off. It's just really hard for me to not fight back. It's really hard for me to give the control to someone else. But, what can I do? At some point I have to let somebody in. Why not now?